I guess My "Tonite" plan didn't turn out as I plan.. But It's ok.. I will find a perfect night for it :)

 I saw this and it reminded me of us...

You and Me..

We are energy

We are a burst of sparks..

We are an explosion of positive energy..

We are fireworks at play...

Tonight....

Every passing breeze cuts like a blade,

Poking, stabbing, slashing.

Digging through our chests,

Carving our wicked hearts open.

Thrusting our feelings down stairs,

We tie each other's heartstrings in knots.

Scratching at our faces,

Dying to escape ourselves.

Your Elegance dissipated,

As the love in my eyes is dying.

Bitter cold fell upon us,

A blizzard of confusion.

I'll run my hands along your image,

Hung in blank, neglected frames .

And as I gaze upon that hue,

My fingers yearn to paint you red and gold, and all the bright colours.

You are now colourless, covered in black,

It being the only feature of your existence.

We both know how much those words ring true 

And yet you struggle against my stained devotion.

And yet you  resist against my tainted love.

What battle is there left to fight?

Why must you take up arms against my brush? 

These colours represents all that is you,

It would stand for a different kind of view.

You are like the ocean, that flows so deep,

Trapping me to drown.

Like weeds that grow in the cracks of sidewalks.

Attracting me to suffocate.

Let me show you how much you grew,

How deep this hole is that you've sunk me into.

If you allowed me,

I'll make a masterpiece, a  breathing art of your face,

The side I cannot capture in a digital snap. 

I’ll make the eyes of who you are shine through,

Behind windowless planes of the mask that you had drew.

Sin stands out nicely, a shadow against this page.

You cannot hide behind darkened curtains of illusion,

That you have imprisoned yourself in.

How will you keep the light from reflecting out of you?

Can you run from the enlightment you are meant to have?

Tonight is the night I’ll show you your light.

I swear to make it the best night that has ever happened to us.

Even if it lasted for just a second past the rainbows glowing back again.

And now that I finally get to hold you tight my love,

It is all making sense to me, now why.

Even all the Heaven up above is showering his blessings on our night.

But I have no idea why we still try to fly where our Angels soar,

and yet the touch of your hand's makes me almost dizzy.

So what happens now, is that tonight is the night I’ll show you your light.

I swear to make it the best night that has ever happened to us.

Even if it lasted for just a second past the rainbows glowing back again.

20 Random things about Javed or is it 'Am Sweet'?

I was just thinking about you.....n kinda trying to divert those thoughts into something constructive...  
So out of Nowhere.. Here are 20 very random things about you.... and Obviously I may be wrong in a lot of places... but well I tried.... 

1) You may be very messy but strangely you like cleanliness, though you don't really bother about the cleaning up part, you feel light and better in a clean environment.

2)As much as you don't really like to show it, you possess a lot more strength than you appear to have.

3)You do not have a favorite color, because your color  taste varies in clothing, in cars, in interior design, in everything, different colors makes different effect for different things so you do not have ONE favorite color. You do tend to lean on classical colors though, blue, white and grey mostly.

4) You do love shopping, you can go out to buy one chocolate and come back with 5 different chocolates, I don't even want to talk about ther things. You actually just love to spend in general, especially for others because it gives you a feeling of independency and self-satisfaction.

5)You never show your vulnerable side, or even your emotional side, no matter how hard things get, you will simply keep strong in any circumstances even if there is a storm crushing everywhere inside your mind and not a lot of people can see that through your eyes.

6)When you were younger you used to be much more quiet, silent but deadly. Naughty yes but in a quiet way.

7)You totally dislike my marshmallows lol... and rarely eat em.

8) Even without a licence you are an amazing driver and it turns me on like hell the way u drive.

9)You are very particular about your food, if you don't like it you prefer not eat at all. You are actually extremely particular concerning food in general.

10) You like to be complimented and act like you don't.

11)You do swear, but not as much as all your friends swear while talking, you swear very little or not at all around me.

12)You don't particularly eat or drink much dairy stuffs like me.

13)You adore chilli and spicy stuffs, even in things where it does not fit.

14)You like to watch movies alone.

15)You love to observe people and have fun in your mind figuring out how to react differently with different people.

16)You and sweet stuffs do not make a nice pair, you do eat them though, but not with lots of love.

17)As viral as the movies are, you have not watched Game of thrones, so you don't really have any idea what the characters really do and you might only know what they look like.

18)You have a very good immune system, you do get sick but it does not last with you, it's almost like you are an advanced type of human. Let's just call you human 2.0.

19)You are actually a very spiritual person but there is always something blocking you from exploring that spirituality. It's not fear of it but mostly the fear of not being able to assume how much great potential you have in being extremely good.

20)You only like music which you cannot relate to in contrary to me.

My last Attempt at laying all I have at your feet...

You asked me to decide? 

Then I am...

What is good for me?

YOU are...

You, the man I met few months ago, the man who inspired trust in me and taught me to love again.

You, the man with a smile so amazing that he could light up any room he walked in.

You the man who made me feel how special I was to him, who appreciated me, and who was never scared to show his love for me.

YouYou the man full of potential, who always  protected me and everyone around him.

And do you know what is the best decision for you?
Do I even need to tell you what looks good on u?

 Well its Me!

Me, the woman who wants to see you achieve not only in this life but in the after life too.

Me, the woman who will always look up to you and give you sooo much respect.

Me, the woman who understands the language of your heartbeat and of your eyes.

Me, the woman who will preserve all she has, only for you, her patience, her virtue, her love, her body in both your absence and presence in her life.

Me, the woman who wants you to make her a better person only for you and for God.
ME the only woman who lets you wear her like sunglasses, ONE leg over each ear, if you see what I mean ;) 

You think life took away a part of you? 

Well you are wrong, but life did break a part of you.

And here I am, asking you to let me heal it. 

I am here today to give you all I have to offer, my trust, my passion, my talents, my dreams, my faith and  everything I am without you.

Because with you I am even better.

And if only you realized that with me, you too shine even more. 
And when am cold, I can use you as a radiator :) 

I once saw your heart smile and that was a few weeks ago. 

That was the best memory I have of you.

In your house, I kneel to God and I never prayed with so much sincere gratitude to have you and your family in my life.

on't you see how tired you are nowadays? All you need is some vitamins ME! :)

I prayed to God to take you out of my life and heart if you are not destined for me. 

I cried for you yet prayed to forget you. I prayed for too long to not let you come close to me again.

As strong as God made me, with so much happiness that he blessed me with, my heart kept a place for you.

For days and days I prayed for us to find the way we were destined for, separately and yet we found each other again.

We keep going in different ways and yet we still manage to get close again.

We are connected Baby Boy, we can't run from 'Us'?

You asked me what I want? I want YOU to be my man.

No, I am not telling you it will be easy, but I am assuring you it will be worth it.

This is a decision we must both take together and move together, this is the exact same words you use with me before we get together. 

You asked me to move together with you and today I am asking you to move together with me.

Physical attractions happen all the time, happens to you, happens to me, but a mental connection is rare Babe, and that's what we got, a mental connection that makes us connect even after lots of shit, and I am sorry to tell you that once you have this mental connection, any physical attraction will never be enough to satisfy you in anyone else.
Look at yourself in the mirror, don't you see how lonely those lips are? Stop torturing em and let them meet mine.

I am not scared at all, because someone taught me to stop fearing and to take risks and he promised me the world, he may not have kept his word for the last part but he made me grow, he made me believe in love again and today I am asking you to take your own advice. What do you fear? The root of the connection we have is too deep, and when the root is deep, why fear the wind?

I don't promise you forever happiness, I don't promise you that everything will be perfect, I can't promise you all good things only, 

But what I can promise you is to do my best to be the way God taught us about how a woman should be:

-I will be patient. In any situations and never complain or whine or moan and will ask for help from God if any trouble affects us.

-I will protect your dignity. I will never annoy you with any stupid thing when you are tired from work and will always listen to you speak about your work with admiration  and will do anything to make you feel better, whether massage or anything you want.

-I will love you. I will make Du'ah for you every single time I set my eyes on you, well I already do, but I will do it even more, from the bottom of my heart. For you to get anything you wish for, to protect you from any harm and guide you in the most beautiful way.

  -I will do good. I will care for everyone you love and take care of everyone you care about. I will shut up and not say things which you don't like. And work hard to make you proud of me.

-I will always be content. I will never ask and expect too much from you and I will be grateful for the tiniest little attention you have towards me. And I promise to show my gratitude with words n LOTS of actions lol.

-I will be more pious. I want to get better and better for God and for you since you motivate me and make me better. Because you are my biggest influence and any of you advice made me so much better and I want to get to the next level. And I know with your support and encouragement I can make myself so much better.

-I will smile all the time for you. I will never raise my voice, well i will try to.. if you don't push me too much.. I will never answer you back when you tell me to do something even if  I don't agree. And I will always apologize to you even if am not at fault just to never let you feel bad.

Our Struggle!

Our struggle is an endless repetition,

easily renamed as broken poetry.

How many times will we open and close the same door?

And maybe that's the attraction 

That you're as self-absorbed as me,

Wanting more and dismissing what is right in front of us. 

You jumped to your decision 

and landed on top of me 

Now how am I supposed to make you see? 

I'll just write it all down, 

wishing that you will read my heart. 

I can no longer be disciplined by 

your frustration and uncertainty.

When I kiss your lips, I want you to know that 

I can no longer apologize for 

your former lover's mistakes. 

How many times did we go down that road? 

How many time those same words have been used and overused and misused?

This is not a poem,

This is the truth of how love begins.

What's calling you inside?

This is your wake-up call.

Let your heart speak,  

How can you not hear?

when I can hear it from so far, so loud and clear.

Let your soul speak, our reflection of God's perfection.

Powers from within, calling you.

Connect yourself.

Let me make you feel the need,

to bring yourself in the light.

All I want is to let your inner power out,

strong and mighty.

And let you shine like you deserve to.

Free Yourself Babe... Free yourself and Let go.. Give Yourself a chance.. Happiness is only waiting for you to jump right in... 

Yellow Butterflies...

Colour of Innocence

Colour of surprise

Colour of life

Colour of admiration

Colour of respect

Colour of simplicity

When you talk,
When you smile,
When you think,
When you worry,
When you wonder, 
When you lay your eyes on me...

Yellow are the butterflies.

Here. 

There. 

Everywhere. 

One, Two, Three, 

dozens and dozens of a magical yellow butteflies all around.

I see them, flying around, delicately landing on me,

 On my skin, covering my body.

They bring peace, they bring excitement, they bring trust.

Being used to back away at the simple sight of any insect,

I find myself surprised to wanting more of the presence of yellow butterflies,

 each time one spread its wings towards me.

If only you could see them. 

If only you could perceive them.

To share this vision with you, would have been a delight.

Everytime they appear, all fear dissipate.

Fear of what, u may ask. 

Fear of you, fear of the unknown, fear of what you can't offer.

Yellow butterflies managed to enter my bubble, without an attempt to burst it.

Light and soft as they are, 

it is such a pity that only you can bring them around.

He made a promise,
To overwhelm and tongue his way into my soul,
Do you wonder if he kept his word?
Against the hard wood floor,
I was pledged into the world.

There was passion,
There was his fingers,
Tracing hollows deep within,
Was this how it was meant to be?
Needing and clawing,
This deep ache between the thighs,
Fuck.

He told me to watch,
To grip and ride,
His kiss was searing hot,
No more Devil's whispers,
Hell was inside another universe.
Everywhere inside me was he,
Goddamn this was everything I needed.

Harder.
I begged and pleaded,
Against the hard wood floor,
For the promise he tongued.
Between my lips,
He himself rocking harshly,
Dare I mark him-
This sculpture of perfection come to life?
Heartbreak in disguise?

Fuck.
Damn, did he.
And when morning came,
All that was left was a little something spilt,
And a heart upon the hard wood floor,
It was written with my blood
We are the special two ...

I stroll down the streets…

With the feeling that makes the rain colder…
With the certainty of what we are meant to be…

I forsee you where you lament over yourself...
I stroll with silent feet...
Reaching towards you in my mind…
My heart breaking at your confusion...

Can you feel me?

Or will you still deny?

I stand invisible by your side,
Wishing I could tell you of what is evident…

Seeking to hold you in my arms ...
Making everything right again...
It hurts watching you abandon what is obviously valuable.

Can you feel me?

Or will you still deny?

I lay beside you in my head,
Watching you fight with your own mind..
Restless, Agitated, A feeling of Emptiness..
I want to share some inner peace
and heal every issue...

Can you feel me?

Or will you still deny?

I will sit beside you in the early morning light, in your memories...
As you will stare at the bottle in your hands...
I will feel your uncertainty and your complications...
And I will touch your cheek and you will remember once more…

Can you feel me?

Or will you still deny?

Is it really me that is causing you this pain or is it the doubt of your future?
Is it really me that is putting you through all this trouble or is it the insecurity inside yourself?
I will let you go…

But will you find what we had?

Don’t feel me..

Keep denying…

Is that the right choice?

Crazy Truth

I wonder what to think,
What does it all mean, Destiny?
It must surely be a reminder, of all those I still have left to meet. 
Where do I stand now. 
A Symbol.

Don't take me wrong, 
I don't recognize your words,
I literally cannot figure out who you truly are.
You are the Serial Killer of my dreams. 
The one so alluring, the one so enticing. 
You are the bleeding heart, lost in darkness, and thinking too much instead of simply living. 
What a pitiful thing it seems, so harmless, so free, but so powerful that it broke me apart.
How you smacked down my need, leave me a life without purpose, lost without you. 
What an awful reality.
A Symbol. 



I want to pretend to not be hopeful, 
Be among a group in a crowded room. 
A mixture of both old and new. 
Are you friendly enough, but how could anything be true?
How can I manage to know the real you?
You look attractive,
But I can't tell you. 
So popular, 
They are drawn to you. 
Let's just say there exist something about you. 
The light breath in your words.
 The pain in your eyes.
 The mystery in your mind.
 The hidden love you are scared to share. 
The mess I can see through.
But I feel something I can't quite place, and curiosity strikes. 
Why can't you take your own risk?
And why can't you steal my thoughts?
When I don't even recognize your words. 
Such a Symbol?

A Symbol of what? 

I can only guess, something new, something better, someone new, someone better? 

Are you willing to let my dedication go? 

All I know is when I want to write about something else,

I end up writing about you. 

Explain that to me?

A crazy truth.

A symbol. 

If you were Mine...

If you were mine forever...

I'd be the Strawberry n U'd be the Tiramisu
I'd be Minnie and U'd be Mickey
I'd be Nicki Minaj n U'd be Lil Wayne
I'd be +Ve and U'd be -Ve
I'd be Tom and U'd be Jerry
I'd be the Ice-Cream and U'd be The Cone
I'd be a Summer Rain and U'd be The Rainbow
I'd be the Night and U'd be a Shining Star
I'd be a Marshmallow and U'd be the Hot Chocolate
I'd be a Car and U'd be the Steering Wheel
I'd be Photoshop and U'd be the Effects

If you were mine...

I would squeeze your hand tight every time there is a dog around and let you push him away for me...
I will learn to cook faster so I can cook together with you and keep up with you in the kitchen.

I wanna help you change for the best and guided you and both find the right path...

I would massage you to sleep everytime you are tired and have a headache...

I would pop all your pimples everytime you find one that stands out...

I would roll your joint every single night and morning unless am upset with you :) 

I would let you slap my ass any chance you get...

I would be your circus freak and let you make me do all kinds of stupid acrobatics..

I would practice how to play your games until I'm good enough to compete with you..

I would make you proud of me so that you will feel like showing me off to the world.

I would not miss a single prayer and make sure to always pray for your happiness...

I would always clean your room and keep my word of taking away even the tiniest dust from it...

I would get a sexy lingerie for every single time we would be alone...

I would never let anyone else glance at me  and only dress up for you only...

I would write for you everyday ...

I would take away all your worries and make you simply smile...

I would make you laugh when you are stressed...

I would sit on your lap n give you magic hugs to take you far away from everything...

I would make love to you not only with my body but with all my heart and soul...

I would lay the world at your feet, just to see you shine, coz it's the only thing I need.

If you were mine...Our love would have no end...
If you were mine...Together we would laugh at the world..
If you were mine...Kings and Queens would bow at your feet..
If you were mine...I'd treasure the ground you walk on..
If you were mine...Your dreams would be complete...
If you were mine...Every inch of my body will be your surprise..

I pray that someday,
You will look into my eyes and see everything I feel...
And see everything I value..
And see everything You ever wanted..
And see everything I'm worth..
Just Beauty and No Lies..
Love is too much of a big word to be saying it carelessly again...
But if you asked me now.. I'd say I do...

If you were mine... I would be Yours.. and Yours only...